


The Picture in Our Hearts of How It’s Supposed to Be

by ozsyn



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Female Reader, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Pre-Slash, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-13 08:00:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18936763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ozsyn/pseuds/ozsyn
Summary: Baz Pitch has been pining after Simon Snow since they were chosen as roommates. He’s still not sure what he sees in the f***ing tragedy whose only passion in life revolves around sour cherry scones, but life can be unfair as Baz’s love remains unrequited. All that may change, however, with a chance encounter, a false assumption, and a playful brand of derision.





	The Picture in Our Hearts of How It’s Supposed to Be

Simon Snow, the Worst Chosen One to Have Ever Been Chosen, had just finished classes for the day and was in desperate need of a nap. Hopefully his roommate and mortal enemy was still out on the pitch and Simon could finally get some much-needed rest. 

Fate would not be so kind, however, because Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch was currently in his own bed, blissfully unaware that a walking tragedy was rapidly approaching. 

Unfortunately, Simon didn’t realize the room was occupied until it was too late. 

So, as one does, he trounced into the room, slammed his bag down on the floor, and-

“Aleister Crowley, Snow! Can’t you do anything right?!”

Simon froze in his tracks as his intimidating roommate angrily sat up in bed. 

That wasn’t the most shocking thing, however, because in that moment, someone else had emerged from beside the vampire.

Wait-Baz has a girlfriend? 

“Enough, Snow. I’m not the Queen,” Baz said, already sick of the attention.

But Simon couldn’t bring himself to look away. 

Baz Pitch had a girlfriend. Baz Pitch who pushed him down a flight of stairs. Baz Pitch who tried to feed him to a chimera in their fifth year. Baz Pitch who tried to steal his voice the spring after that. Baz Pitch who hasn’t stopped flirting with Agatha since Simon became interested in her. 

Baz Pitch has a girlfriend. And they were alone. In their shared room. 

And Simon had interrupted them. 

Baz Pitch was finally going to kill him.

Having some minor sense of self-preservation, however, Simon picked up his bag, stuttered out an apology, and got the heck out of there.

Once the dust had settled, Baz turned to the person next to him and spoke.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Look at you like what, Baz? Oh, like you were a complete jerk to Simon, again?” (Y/N) complained for the millionth time to her best friend.

“I’ve done far worse,” he countered.

She sighed, “That’s not an accomplishment, Baz.”

“Stop being so dramatic.”

“You’ve tried to kill him multiple times.”

“I only wanted to scare him,” Baz corrected. 

“How to Deal With Feelings: The Baz Pitch Method.”

“Lower your voice,” he hissed.

“Simon practically sprinted out of here. He’s gone.”

“Ugh. Why do you call him that?”

“Call him what?”

“That.”

“Simon? Simon Snow? His name?”

“It just sounds wrong,” he grumbled. 

“How to Deal With Feelings: The Baz Pitch Method Lesson Number 1. Calling your crush by their name is too intimate.”

“Stop.”

“Too much emotion for a vampire?”

He groaned, “Do you have to say it out loud?”

“It’s not like I’m the first to have said it.”

He gritted his teeth, “Snow’s too determined for his own good.”

“Let’s think about this, which would you rather do: confess to being a vampire or tell Simon Snow that you’re hopelessly in love with him?”

“Don’t use that word.”

“What word?”

“You know which word.”

“Maybe I want to hear you say it.”

“I’ve said it once. That’s enough.”

“Blue eyes. Bronze curls...”

He growled, “It doesn’t even matter, anyway.”

“If you even think about saying this will end in flames, I swear to Merlin-“

“You’ll kill me? I don’t think that’s possible,” he finally said, smirking.

“I was thinking something more along the lines of calling you Tyrannus for the rest of your very long life.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Basilton? Grimm-Pitch? Pitch? Baz Pitch is Simon Snow’s bi-“

He glared at her.

“Jeez, is this how you look at Simon? No wonder he clutches that cross every time he’s near you.”

“Snow constantly thinks I’m going to eat him.”

“When in reality he should be concerned about something entirely different...”

“You’ve made your point.”

“Then say it.”

“No.”

“Say it.”

“I said no.”

“Spit it out, Basilton.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Baz.”

“I’m not saying it.”

“You will. To his face one day. It’s inevitable.”

“Why are you so interested?”

“Because you two are the cutest disasters I know. Now say it.”

“(Y/N)-“

“Baz. I won’t leave until you say it. And we all know you can’t drool over Simon Snow from afar if he isn’t in the room.”

He finally sighed, “Do I have to?”

“Yes.”

“I...”

“Yes, Baz?”

“I’m in love with Simon Snow. There. Satisfied?”

“Hmmm....Would you describe that love as hopeless and irrevocable?”

“You did not just quote Twilight at me.”

“You just...remind me of Edward for some reason. I can’t quite put my finger on it.”

“You point at them and I’ll bite your finger clean off.”

She just smiled back at him while somewhere in the halls of Watford, Simon Snow was currently thinking over the fact that Baz Pitch had a girlfriend and why on earth it seemed to bother him so much.


End file.
